Thread Topic: What shall I do now
|
Van Der Graff
Joined: Nov 19, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-19 10:34:57 |
|
Hi all. I'm new in the boards. I'm 15 y/o. Of course, I find it very difficult to start relationships with people. I could't make new friends for the last three years, because everyone in that school was an ass, they would always bother me. I moved to a new school this year, and I was doing very well. I got "close" with some people, hung out with them a couple of times... Then, two months ago I stopped saying hello to them, thinking that doing so would bother them. When I join them in the break, I start thinking that i shouldn't be there with them, that my presence among them is inadequate. If i can't resist the urge to go away, i rush back to the classroom, to wait until the break is over. In combination with an apparently very high level of paranoia (I think that everyone is talking s--- about me). They could have been my friends. Everyday i'm feeling them and I more distant from each other. For now it ends here. English isn't my first language, so excuse me if I made any mistake. |
|
|
Unanswered Thread: paranoid hypochondriac posted by cncathy 1 hour ago |
|
|
erinro
Joined: Nov 13, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-19 20:54:20 |
| Hi Van der Graff - great name btw. I completely identify with your dilemma; I had a similar experience in highschool. And kind of wish now that I'd gone into psychotherapy at that time. Is that an option for you? Good luck! Highschool is a very tough time. Things will get better. | |
|
soshylite
Joined: Nov 20, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-20 12:04:04 |
|
I had very similar experiences in high school too. Even now, I'll have days where I feel I'm not connecting with anyone. Keep saying hello to them, chances are you're not bothering them. I was always afraid I was bothering people to and worried that people were talking about me behind my back. In most cases, they weren't, and after I left high school I found out that everyone else was worried about the same thing. So keep putting on a brave face and keep hanging out with them. If they are good people they will accept you. Counselling might also help. I wish I had gone to counselling when I was in high school, because it could have helped me with my own feelings of inadequacy. |
|
|
observer
Joined: Nov 19, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-23 02:41:22 |
|
Hi vdG, Your old friends would probably be happy for you to hang out with them again - they might just say in a friendly manner, "Hey! Haven't seen you around for a while! Whatcha been up to?" Also, it is likely that you have noticed the passage of time more than they have... it is possible they have not realised that a couple of months have gone by, and it is very likely they would still be happy to see you. If you are worried about feeling inadequate, or stressed about how to start a conversation, then another idea is to join a club. If you join a sports club, or the school newspaper team, or a science club or language group or something, then everyone's attention is on the activity rather than on the people around them... people aren't really paying attention to you, cos they are too busy running/brainstorming/building model volcanoes or whatever. Also you will be so busy running/brainstorming/building model volcanoes yourself that you will gorget to feel self-conscious! Other benefits are that you end up getting to know people anyway while you train together or work together on a project, and being in a sports team or school club is much more relaxed than being at a party where you have to think up things to talk about. Also if you join a sports or academic club then you can get fitter and have a wider range of interests to talk about when you do meet people. Best of luck! |
|
|
fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-11-23 11:11:35 |
| Hi, I'm 17 y/o, I don't really have friends in high school either, I believe there are two factors at least in my situation, 1) *most* teenagers are pretty immature, 2) I'm really insecure/obsessed/paranoid/depressed/w/e you call it so ppl find it hard to get to know me I guess. Idk if this applies to your situation but might help to know most teenagers (*most*) are really immature and can be really mean/cruel without meaning to.. | |
|
Van Der Graff
Joined: Nov 19, '09
Status: New User |
2009-12-03 17:08:39 |
|
Sorry for being late, it's been a while. Yes, i'm (doing; going to-) psychotherapy. This is helping me a lot, nice way to remind me that no one is constantly watching my life, but me. This leads to censorship. (If there's a chance I can say something dumb, I won't say anything). Then I realize that no one can be perfect, and that if I bothered them, they would have told me so. Today school ended, 'til next year. Two weeks or so ago I started to say hello to them again. It's been very difficult to me, some days I just couldn't do it. Anyways, I'm looking ahead to try it again next year. Thank you all for your replies. Btw, this may be a Paranoid-Avoidant hybrid like, any tips on that, or should I ask the Paranoid forums? |
|
|
erinro
Joined: Nov 13, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-12-06 09:25:49 |
| Interesting point about paranoid/avoidant hybrid; I wonder if they go together too, or perhaps maybe not in the beginning but I think avoidant behaviour gets you (or it got me anyway) into an isolated situation which is a breeding ground for paranoia. | |
|
Unanswered Thread: No Subject posted by alwaysknew 1 day ago |
|
|
Need to see a psychologist? Find reviews on the best doctors in your area at Angie's List
(Get access to thousands of reviews for a small charge) |
|
