Some sick, some funny -oneliners. 2

What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?

"Oh look! Doughnut seeds!"
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A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower." ==================================================
And Something To Offend Damn-Near Everyone...How can you tell who the Irish guy is in the hospital?

He's the one blowing the foam off of his bedpan.
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Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar. ==================================================
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?

They named him Sum Ting Wong.
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What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment. ==================================================
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?

They're hiring.
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What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common?

Men miss them all.
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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.
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Why isn't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?

Because they're not going to work in the
future, either.
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Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?

He walks around saying, "Yo"
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What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp.
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Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
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What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
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What's the Cuban national anthem?

"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
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What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."